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[Fiction] Friday

June 19, 2009

Elwood closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and jumped right out of the airplane.  He thrilled to the feeling of descent, wind yowling past his ears, his eyes tearing just a little.  This was something Elwood had long wanted to do.  He had created a list of things to do  in this life.  Later, people started calling such lists “Your Bucket List,” but not Elwood.  To him, it started as His List, and remained that.  Current trends be damned.

Elwood wondered how long until he reached Terminal Velocity.  He wondered what it would feel like.  He wondered if he would notice.  Or care beyond the, “Ain’t it cool” factor.  Pretty soon, Elwood stopped worrying about anything and just relished the moment.  Eyes closed, he continued his fall.  A smile on his leather face.  He plummeted, lost in the fall.

And his life flashed before his eyes, always too many images, too many memories, nothing stayed for long, just a calliope of random images, moments and flashes.  Some of them were even his own thoughts.  He lived for these rare moments of surrender.

Too bad for Elwood that they were only moments, and temporary.

11 Comments leave one →
  1. jamesashelford permalink
    June 19, 2009 9:34 pm

    You achieve a good mix here of the fast-paced action of the moment and the contemplative thoughts of the character. I very much enjoyed it.

    “Some of them were even his own…” That’s intriguing.

    Mine own:

    • June 22, 2009 11:17 pm

      Thank you for taking the time to come by and comment. I do appreciate it.

      And the “some of them…” part just struck me as something that might happen were somebody to let their mind wander…

  2. June 20, 2009 12:39 pm

    I like the way the air flashing past his body and the thoughts flashing through his mind are linked. Cool character study.

  3. June 20, 2009 11:34 pm

    I enjoyed this as the other commentors did as well. I liked the speed of his thoughts as it matched the speed of his descent.

    • June 22, 2009 11:17 pm

      And I appreciate your commenting and letting me know what you think. Thanks!

  4. June 21, 2009 7:19 am

    “Some of them were even his own thoughts.” This little comment makes me want to know more about Elwood.

    • June 22, 2009 11:18 pm

      So do I. Maybe Elwood will come back for something else.

      Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment.

  5. June 21, 2009 1:23 pm

    Thanks for sharing this delightful piece Mark. Great to have you on board with Friday Fiction. Your piece is very evocative with the languageing matching the pace and speed in which the character plummets from consciousness into subconsciousness.

    I look forward to your regular contributions.

    my FF can be found here

    • June 22, 2009 11:19 pm

      Thanks, Annie. I hope to be a regular participant.

      And thanks for your feedback. It is greatly appreciated.

  6. July 7, 2009 6:00 pm

    There is a free flowing feeling to this, I can imagine someone jumping out of plane and just get lost in the moment, you written that moment well

    Elwood – wonder if you name him after that movie, Harvey, I recall a quote that that lead – Elwood P. Down (not sure of the spelling) said about something that his mother reminded him of -“In this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant.” — somehow it suits the moment in your story

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