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3WW CXLIII

June 24, 2009
tags: ,
Ironed to a fare-thee-well
Nary a wrinkle
Here a tuck, there a life

A phony sparkle lights
Eyes pulled wide open
Yet seeing little

Fickle vixens never
Satisfied with what they
Are, never mind who

Aging studs denying
The march of time, sagging
Flesh, Loss of youth

The knife can't fix the
Hollow within, fill the
Void, heal the hurt.

Yet, they try...and try.

-----

The finish, I feel, was a little flat...but there it is.
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25 Comments leave one →
  1. June 24, 2009 4:07 pm

    marvelous.. i love it.. i lived a good number of years in palm beach county which is probably second to los angeles in plastic surgery,, and i can tell you “a little work”,, is just that,, it does not a beautiful person guarantee…. wonderful use of the prompt….

    • June 24, 2009 4:08 pm

      Thanks. I was really stumped about what to do with these prompts this week.

  2. June 24, 2009 4:33 pm

    Flat finish or not..I like the whole effect..

    sultry days of summer

    • June 24, 2009 4:37 pm

      Thanks. I was reaching the end…and it wasn’t coming as naturally as I would like. I feels…forced to me.

  3. June 24, 2009 5:19 pm

    A most valid point nicely put.

  4. lostmermaid permalink
    June 24, 2009 6:27 pm

    some interesting thoughts 🙂

  5. June 24, 2009 7:10 pm

    nicely done

  6. June 25, 2009 1:32 am

    I’ve seen more than enough of these scenes! Your writing is true and well-honed. The end rings true enough and I have no suggestions for alteration – maybe it’ll change for you in a day or so…Nice work.

    • June 25, 2009 3:01 pm

      Thank you.

      I’m guessing that you and others are seeing something I’m not. Which isn’t a bad thing…

  7. June 25, 2009 2:32 am

    I thought it was wonderful from beginning to end…

  8. June 25, 2009 3:47 am

    I liked it all the way through.
    I have no idea what to write for the prompt but maybe sleep will help.

    • June 25, 2009 3:02 pm

      Sleep is a wonderful thing.

      Sometimes, I find my mind racing in circles just as I am drifting off. So, I keep a pen and paper handy…

  9. June 25, 2009 4:31 am

    Flat…Na..No way…This is very very good..

  10. June 25, 2009 5:40 am

    I once saw a woman on CNN being interviewed about plastic surgery. She looked so horrid and fake that it was truly creepy. I imagined that to the touch, her face probably felt like formica. Only less natural.

    • June 25, 2009 3:03 pm

      ‘felt like formica’

      What a wonderful way to put a hideous description.

  11. June 25, 2009 8:44 am

    Phew, cut the cut! How true, the knife can’t fix the hollow within!

  12. June 25, 2009 4:23 pm

    This was quite good. I liked the use of short lines, many of which end mid-phrase which is then continued on the next line. I thought it helped show the disjointed nature of the people in the poem who subject themselves to plastic surgery.

    I didn’t see a title for this. Do you title your pieces?

    • June 25, 2009 4:25 pm

      Most of the time I do title my poetry.

      I just hadn’t thought of one that I was happy with for this one.

      Thank you very much for your comments. I do appreciate them.

  13. June 27, 2009 10:42 am

    Love the paradoxical idea of a knife healing hurt! It seems to underwrite the idea in the first stanza of ironing giving life! Interesting parade of superficial dreams of youthful perfection!

  14. June 28, 2009 1:19 pm

    Mark, from the beginning till the end this was fantastic 😀

    My 3WW

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